Finding Strength Beyond My Own

I recently went to see the newest version of Cinderella where kindness and courage were the highlight of the movie. As I was leaving though another thought came to me and that was "Finding Strength Beyond My Own". It is a part of a hymn we sing in church. I thought I understood what it meant years ago. But I'm finding I'm only just discovering what it means.

In my church we have the opportunity to go on what is typically called "Trek". For those of the LDS faith it is an opportunity to re-create the struggle of the early pioneers, specifically those in the handcart companies who left too late in the season and faced almost certain death. I can, because of trek imagine a small portion of what it must have been like. Years ago I had the opportunity of going to Wyoming for a week and pull a handcart and walk miles and miles a day. However bad I thought I had it, it was nothing compared to what the real pioneers went through.

One day while on the trek we had what was called "The Woman's Pull" it was to signify many men being called to war and the women having to pull the handcarts by themselves. We had to pull the handcarts up a steep hill made up of mostly very fine sand. We had already pulled for who knows how many miles that day and as I looked up from the bottom of the hill it felt like a daunting task.... and it was. The men had to stand at the top of the hill watching us and were not allowed to help us get those carts up the hill. So the women, at the end of an already long day began pushing and pulling the handcarts up the embankment. At that point I was ready to give up. With blisters on my hands and feet and while struggling to get up the hill in skirts and falling many times. While pulling what seemed an incredibly heavy load, I cried and cried calling on an unseen power for strength and for help. Somehow we managed to make it up the hill and I felt the most incredible relief and at the same time I knew that we had received help from those unseen.

I thought then that I knew what it meant "Finding Strength Beyond My Own". I am since learning that I still do not fully understand what it means.... The last few days have been challenging with loneliness and a very heavy heart I felt once again like I was at the bottom of a hill. I decided to go to the temple to hopefully receive a small amount of peace and comfort. As I prayed and cried and prayed and cried some more I felt a tangible peace come over me. Like Elder Bednar says it didn't come in an instant like turning on a light with a switch, it came more slowly and serenely like a sunrise until it becomes a glorious day. In that moment I found strength beyond my own to carry me through my trials. It doesn't mean that my struggles are any less real or they have been taken away rather my burdens have become lighter to bear because I chose to trust in a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who has felt every pain and heartache I go through. Because I choose to trust in them I constantly am finding a strength beyond my own. But it must be a choice. I can't be complacent. I must actively, daily, seek Them and Their guidance. They are the source of my strength and I choose to trust in Them, in the Plan of Happiness, and most importantly of all, the Atonement of my Savior. Someone will always know my deepest sorrows and my most exquisite joys because He has felt it all. Trust and I promise you will "Find Strength Beyond [your] Own"

Musings of a Military Wife

This is something that I never wanted and something I didn't think would happen. I was proud and supported others who had to go through this journey, but here I am a military wife.

The nights are cold, the house silent, my heart lonely beyond words. My best friend is gone for months on end. He is the one I want to share everything with. It doesn't matter that my life seems incredibly boring. I would share a million boring days with the love of my life.

Don't get me wrong I am insanely proud of him, of his decision to serve, to fight, to defend. I wouldn't ask him to change his decision for anything in the world. I tell myself that millions of people have gone through what I am going through and most of the time to a worse degree.

 Imagine a few years ago when we didn't have cell phones on our persons all the time. If they called and we weren't home they had to leave a message on the machine and hope to talk to you in person sometime later. Or even a few more years back when it was only letters you were allowed to send and you didn't hear from them for months on end then have maybe 3-7 letters all at once. There was even the possibility of having mail getting lost in transition and you just wouldn't hear from them. Or how about in ancient times when there was no mail. All you could ever do was pray to God for their safe return, sometimes not seeing them for 10 years.

Yes I don't have it as bad as some, and for the most part I feel like I do well. But the nights are the worse part. I come home to a dark, empty house. Unfortunately I feel like a little girl, I become very afraid of the dark, lock all my doors (even my bedroom door) when I finally feel tired enough to know I'll just fall asleep instead of laying awake thinking about things. I knew it would be hard, but you are never tested above that which you are able right? I just didn't know it would be this hard.

Before he left we shared a scripture together. I cried when we read it then and I cry about it now but I know it to be true then and now Alma 43:45-47
 "45 Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for the monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rights of worship and their church.
46 And they were doing that which they felt was the duty which they owed to their God; for the Lord had said unto them, and also unto their fathers, that: Insasmuch as ye are not guilty of the first offense, neither the second, ye shall  not suffer yourselves to be slain by the hands of your enemies.  47 And again, the Lord has said that: Ye shall defend your families even unto bloodshed. Therefore for this cause were the Nephites contending with the Lamanites, to defend their families, and their lands, their country, and their rights, and their religion.

I know our soldiers are fighting for our liberty, for our freedom, for our rights of worship, for our families. It doesn't make it any less hard, but it gives me courage to fight the unseen battles and it gives me a light in the darkest night. This is nothing I ever wanted, but I am proud and I stand resolutely and firm in my faith that my Heavenly Father will protect him and me. He will give us the courage to see it through another day, the strength we need to perform the tasks that are required of us, the love of Him and our spouse when we feel completely alone, and He will give us guardian angels to protect our homes and to protect us individually.

Nothing I ever wanted, but everything that I need to become a better person and a better wife.

Multiply and Replenish the Earth

So I watched the movie Noah for the first time tonight and the last line got me thinking "Multiply and Replenish the Earth."
Often in the world we focus on the multiply bit where families are concerned. My thoughts turn to the replenishing bit. How do we replenish the Earth? Or do we forget we are stewards over the Earth and it is our to tend and take care of? Do we plant trees, flowers, things that will help sustain the planet? Or do we think that because we are human the earth is ours to use as we will? Do we, in our selfishness deplete the Earth of all of its goodness? What will be left for our children? Our grand children? Our great grand children?
I know I'm just as guilty as the next person and I don't mean to preach. I will however resolve to do better in my gardening, in my taking care of the Earth. I'm not sure how much my little bit will help, but I hope to be a little better each day at replenishing the Earth. For it is, as we are, in a constant cycle needing nourishment and water. If we provide these things it, just like us, transforms into something beautiful and glorious. For we are created by a God who loves us.

Time to post again I think..... Man it sure is hard trying to come up with something...

Well I think I need to change the name of this Blog since we recently moved from Virginia.... We are on our way to Tucson, AZ for a few years.... I am excitedly nervous for this move cuz' I do NOT do well in the heat. Oh well I guess God has something in mind for me to learn down there.

Bronson is going to attend the University of Arizona getting his degree in linguistics, I will be attending Pima Community College to pursue my dream of becoming a Registered Dental Hygienist. It will be a long couple of years for us but that's okay. We feel like we are doing the right thing for our family and that's what is important.

Right now we are in transition at my amazing mom's house. We asked if we could stay the summer with her and she being the saint she is said yes. (Bless her heart!)

We are both working full time and then we should be in the desert by the middle to the end of August.... just in time for it to start cooling down a bit I hope. (fingers crossed)

All in all I think we are doing well. I guess we will see what happens next!

~Kristen

Well things have been a little crazy around here with Bronson going to school and working and while I go to work as well..... I hope I can catch up...
Bronson was called as a ward missionary a few weeks ago. He is very excited about it and is fulfilling his calling wonderfully. I was called as a Relief Society activities committee member and am now working on creating a program for the ward Christmas party..... wish me luck.
Work is going well for both of us and I think we have finally found our groove (hehehe it only took about a year and a half)
We now get to spend time together and are laughing and joking much more. I love it!!!! We talk and laugh and joke and dance around in the kitchen with one another! Ahhh THIS is what married life is! Even though we still have to be grown-ups and work and pay bills, worry about college and careers, the best part is coming home to your spouse and knowing they are yours for eternity!!!!
I have been so blessed with an overwhelming feeling of love for Bronson and great humility for all my many many blessings lately! Heavenly Father is so wonderful!!!!

So I did it. After much thinking and debating, I finally started a blog about our adventures in the beautiful state of Virginia.
Let me catch you up to speed.
Bronson and I got married in June of last year. One week later we moved out here so Bronson could attend Southern Virginia University. I went to work in Charlottesville, figured out I needed something much closer to home and found something in Lexington just a few minutes away. Alas that came to a bittersweet end when that dental office lost medicaid funding and since I was the last one hired.... well you get the idea. That was in January of 2012 after 4 long months of praying and fasting and looking for work, I finally found what I was looking for. I now work at a Periodontal office where I get to instruct people and do surgeries most days.
Bronson's little brother came out to SVU this year and we are having a blast!

Aside from a few head colds and lots of work things seem to be looking up! Heavenly Father has blessed us in so many ways!

I will continue to make my blog look pretty.... I'm still not quite sure what I'm doing here but wish me luck!